Sunday, July 22, 2012

In the Sea of Pain-- Without A Captain

I am truly alone in my fight with Chronic Pain due to my severely damaged spine.  

For the past seven years, I have had a trusted partner to work with in my search for pain relief.

I have written about the importance of having your Pain Management Physician being your true partner in finding solutions to for your pain.  At the moment, I am floating in the Sea of Pain, without a Captain.  No one to drive the ship, to direct the crew, to give knowledge and ideas.

It is a dangerous place to be alone, this Sea of Pain.  And scary too.

Boat 2012-05-06 #2
 (Photo credit: arichards63)

After seven years of being guided by my wonderful Pain Management physician, there have been changes in  insurances and medical groups, and because of these reasons, I can not see my trusted pain doctor anymore.  

I'm thrown back into looking again.  Starting brand new.  Kinda rusty at this.  7 years.  Bleh.

Those who have begun their search for a PM (Pain Management) doctor, know that just finding one is the first step, but not the easiest step.  Proximity must be considered, (insurance coverage should be established before the search begins) then physician availability is next.  

Waiting for your first appointment with a PM doctor is expected.  The first visit is important, but this will continue to be an important person in managing your life of pain.  Your LIFE of pain.  **Chronic Pain can be overwhelming to look at, as it has no expiration date, it's a lifetime of management.  

When a relationship has been established with a PM doctor, it hurts to lose that. That takes time, years, seasons.  Things change, life changes over 7 years.  My Dr. and I had an excellent rapport, he was interested, listened, had such insight and understanding, spoke the same language of pain, and most of all: he believed everything I said.  This is an important part of the doctor/patient relationship in any diagnosis, but with chronic anything, the patient must access care frequently, and on an ongoing basis.  

He knew I was a compliant patient, and never called in early for refills, etc.  He was like a psychologist, a psychiatrist, an internist, a spine specialist; and my most trusted partner in the care of my spine.  I trusted him, and he trusted me.

English: Negative low tide at Ocean Beach in S...
(Photo Credit--By Brocken Inaglory)
He saw me on days I didn't think I could handle anymore pain, anymore depression (that comes with the outlook on the rest of life being this painful) and days I sailed in with a smile.  He knew that I could be both. He expected both.  He knew I didn't have to put on any show, change anything about who I am, I just was me.  Walking in with a bounce in my step and a smile, gave him the relief of knowing that our choices, made together, and guided by him, were working.

He is going to be a tough act to follow.    

Gentle Hugs....
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  1. Shauna, Why do these things happen? I pray that you find another doctor that you depend on and communicate with and most of all trust. This stinks.

  2. I'm in the same boat, my pain doctor is no longer practicing. I have had two decompression surgeries twenty years apart. I'm currently on disability for pain and symptoms of ACM & SM. much luck in your search for a new compassionate doctor

  3. Hi Shauna, I truly hope it works out for you. My partner had two sets of decompression surgery, the second to correct the first but it it just made it worse. Now walking without serious medication is out of the question but our doctor is an absolute saviour. Losing him would be so terrible I dread to even consider it. The two of us will pray things work out and that you find another who you can trust and be trusted by in turn. God Bless,

  4. I'm glad you were able to have such a good relationship with your pain doctor. I understand how difficult it must be to lose someone you've worked with who has helped you so much. I'm sure you will find another doctor. Pain has a way of taking over your life, and it's hard to gain control again.

  5. Hey Mo, My friend so good to see you! I know I've been terrible at acknowledging comments lately, I appreciate you and your support, always there for me. I'm doing great!! Hugs (((MO)))

    Janna, It's been great getting to know you, so glad you reached out. Amazing, the wonderful people I have met through writing this, and I am blessed to add you.

    Rogr, Thank you for your compassion and kindness regarding the pain doc situation. It is true that only those who have gone through all this or close to that person, can truly understand the depth of how much it affects our everyday lives. Thanks for your prayers, I believe they have already helped in giving me an answer.

    Dr. Petraglia, I left a comment on your site, thank you for your kindness, and empathy. I am looking forward to reading your book, it is right on the money about what I have gone through in my quest for pain relief.

    *I also appreciate the personal emails and thank those that have told me their stories. It sure leads me to realize again, that we are certainly NOT alone in this life of pain.


Join in the conversation on chronic pain. Thanks for your input and point of view.